Stomach upset... and more

Woke up tired as usual. Dunno what's wrong with me lately. Kept going to bed as early as possible (b4 12am) but waking up feeling so tired. I seldom have dreamless nites so it probably contributed to the tireness (dream too much).

Went to the toilet twice already this morning, not sure if its the fish I ate last nite. Only upon finishing I realised that the fish wasn't that fresh. The sauce had nicely camouflaged the stale taste maybe. I almost couldn't make it to the office, luckily the feeling subsided when I reached the office.

I wrote quite alot these days, not sure if its "bloggish mood" like Xris always say or what. Maybe I am also too free in the office..haha (pls dun tell my boss). Just simply got no mood to work, simply bo chup and just want to do my own stuff. I seldom tok to me colleagues unless necessary. Its probably one of those down periods. I need a break!! No joke... There is completely no motivation to drive me, unless weekend is coming. So I supposed tomorrow I will be quite productive, as like any other Friday.

Good grief we have another holiday day (Vesak Day) on Friday, then followed by Mother's Day on Sunday. After this round, will have to take leave once in a while to re-charge until National Day in August. This Friday is also my grandpa's 4th death anniversary, time really flies. Most likely there will be praying in the morning on that day, followed by lunch at my grandma's place.

I remembered when my grandpa was alive, I din tok much to him. Its more coz of language barrier. Since young, we spoke English and Mandarin in my own family, which of coz my grandparents spoke hokkien. Naturally we cannot communicate with each other than normal greetings. I feel rather sad when he passed away that we were not able to create a bond between us. I feel sadder when I see my grandma alone walking around the neighbourhood nowadays and I cannot bring myself to approach her, simply becoz I know I will not be able to tok to her. Partly coz she's a bit deaf by now and I cun be shouting to her in hokkien when I have problem to even speak using it.

Due to the strict upbringing, I have little to say to my parents (esp my dad) too. Its usually during monthly family dinners that my brother will get everyone toking. It still sounds awkward sometimes, like strangers who rarely know each other. This is partly coz of the strict upbringing that we are never close to our parents, and that most of the time we do not dare or want to speak further. Excuses apart, I think this is the cause of cultural attributes of Chinese. The general traits of the Chinese, especially to older folks, are that they are not vocally or physically expressive. Look at western countries and their cultures, you will know what I mean. Its sad coz as young people become more westernised and more modern, there will be this barrier between us and the parents. I guess this will never change, unless we try very hard to open up to each other.

I got disturbed by a stupid user, who did not follow instructions and now start to complain. Spoilt my blogging mood... Shall continue again soon..