Touched..
I was reading my cousin's blog earlier, and somehow it touched me. Tears almost flow out of my eyes.
She mentioned about granny touching her little fingers where she felt a sudden sense of love, no one has given her that kind of feeling before. If I am her at that point of time, I might or might not feel the same way as her. But as reading her blog, a sense of sadness overcome me.
We were not exactly very close to my grandma since young, mostly coz of communication problem. We started speaking mandarin since the govt encouraged us to do so in my kindergarten to primary school days. Since then, we find it harder and harder to speak to older folks, especially my grandparents.
Time passes very fast and we eventually grew up. Although my grandparents only live few doors away from us, we seldom go over unless on sundays when cousins and relatives come over. On special occasions like Chinese New Year, we would then be able to gather longer.
When my grandpa passed away in 2002, I feel kinda sad coz we did not visit him at all at the home he went to stay a few months before. He was getting very difficult to move around and my grandma has problem walking then so he had to be sent to the home. At least there is someone to take care of him there. We had wanted to visit but kept postponing the visits and eventually did not manage to until he passed away.
After that, I try to make an effort to go pray for him on special occasions.
Even after that, much as I try to communicate more to my grandma but its sorta difficult. As usual, we dun see her unless she sits downstairs with some other old folks chitchatting every night (when we happen to be home late). As I still cun speak hokkien, plus she has problem in hearing, I find it more difficult to talk to her.
Once I saw my grandma strolling near the old school, I feel so sad and helpless. I wished I could walk with her, hold her hand and talk to her but I cun do so. I din approach her that day, coz was actually rushing home to meet sis. I feel bad afterwards...but I dunno what else I could do.
Its so sad nowadays young people and old folks cun really communicate, or make an effort to. What will happen in future???
I hope I have an answer....
2 comments:
aiyo... ya i also feel sad when reading her entry... but i'm sad becoz we dun have this connection with grandma. yup, our lack of communication skills in hokkien plus her hearing makes it v difficult to talk to her...
and yup we were quite bad to have not grab a chance to visit grandpa in the home... but well... nothin much we can do now except take good care of grandma for him, and praying for him.
i still remember last time in the shop, i used to sit ard grandpa and see him peel onion skins. haha ya i mean really sit beside him and watch him (sometimes i gt help a tiny winy bit la..). i like to watch things since i'm small, so this is one of my fav pasttimes... though we nv talk much while he peels, i think we still enjoy each other's company. i used to marvel how he can tahan his black fingers for so long without washing.. and juz keep peeling.. haa
but ever since the shop rent out, we have less and less chance to interact with them. even i feel awkward/drifting away with my small aunt. we used to chit chat and play etc... now like juz normal aunt and niece (female is niece rite?) relationship. well.. cant be help.. but during CNY day 1, when i was kpoing in their kitchen, it was really fun! feels juz like the last time... grandma also there see me so kpo she quite amused haha
gt time we muz really interact more often. i hope i can quickly pick up cutlery skills and can ask them over for meals/cook for them more often hehehe
wat a long comment... the longest u'd ever see... applause pls!
:P
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